Kuorans can you write a sad story about kpop?
08.06.2025 00:11
"Areum, Areum, wake up!" I heard someone say. "Quickly, call the manager, the ambulance! Areum is bleeding!" It was Eunji, one of the people I loved. Will she miss me? Will the other members miss me? I know that I will. My parents? No, they wouldn't even care. I wanted to perform one last time with the members, but I guess it was too late now. Eunji was now hugging me, and I heard the other members panicking and crying.
Did I truly possess everything I had ever desired? Then why did this lingering emptiness persist?
After the interview, our manager rushed us back to our cramped dorm room. The place was rundown, with mushrooms sprouting from the walls. Stains marred the yellowed wallpaper, and the five of us shared a single room. The tiny kitchen featured malfunctioning water taps. It was crowded, no doubt, but still an improvement from the abusive household I had once called home with my parents. The agency had promised to relocate us to a more comfortable apartment once we repaid our debts, but that seemed like a far-off dream, likely years away. However, it was better now. At least we didn't have cameras scrutinising our every move, even invading our privacy in the bathrooms, like during our trainee days. Some might find it peculiar, but they claimed it was to monitor our progress.
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Disgusted, I looked at myself in the mirror. I wanted to shatter it, but I didn't want to worry my members. Was I just r*ped? I asked myself. "You wanted this, don't you? You don't want your fans to be disappointed in you, do you?" His words kept replaying in my head. Did I want this? Did my fans truly love me, or did they hate me? But isn't this the life I wanted? Did I do something wrong? I went into the shower and scrubbed every part of my body that he had touched, feeling disgusted and frustrated with myself. I couldn't cry because I didn't want my members to worry, so I silently wept while hugging my body. After the shower, I looked at the mirror again.
This was the last straw, and I broke down crying. I cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I wanted help, but I was too lost for anyone to find me. The pressure was suffocating me, and I couldn't breathe. I had nowhere to go.
"I can't. The agency put me on a diet. They told me I have to lose 8kg before next week."
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"Are you okay?" Eunji asked again, always caring and looking after us like a mother. "We're here if you need us or if you want to talk."
Reluctantly, I obeyed and sat next to him. Did I want to? No, but did I have a choice? He's my boss, and he can end my career with just a flick of his thumb. Who am I to say anything back? I'm just a puppet crafted to be played with by the industry.
"Areum, is everything alright?" Eunji, one of my fellow members, asked, noticing my gaze fixed on my phone for what seemed like an eternity.
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I had been engrossed in watching our previous day's performance and scrolling through the comments. Initially, a wide smile adorned my face as I read the compliments showered upon my members, knowing firsthand how tirelessly they had worked. But as I was scrolling further down, hurtful comments started to emerge, causing my smile to fade away.
"Our fans are everything to us. Without them, we are nothing," I said, a radiant smile plastered on my face.
"Hey, guys," my voice quivered as I forced a smile, "How are you? I missed you guys so much," I continued, my voice cracking with unshed tears.
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I went back to the lounge with the knife and sat in the corner of the room. Will they ever forgive me? I don't want to leave them, but I'm hurting too much. What if I didn't become an idol? What if I didn't work till 1am perfecting my dancing? What if I didn't go on a strict diet to the point of starving?
During the recording, our manager told me that the CEO wanted to see me. My heart started beating fast as I made my way to his office. Was I in trouble? Did I do something wrong? I had been strictly following my diet, even though it was taking a toll on my health. Is there a scandal? My mind raced with possible conclusions. "God, please, I don't want to go to his room alone. He creeps me out," I thought. I remembered when we were trainees, and he would come behind us, touching us inappropriately, claiming it was part of the teaching. I was scared of him. Before knocking, I took a deep breath and reassured myself, "You can handle this, Areum."
Stellaris had done it again. The K-pop industry was abuzz, hailing them as the unstoppable force and the 'it' girls of the moment. Despite emerging from a relatively small company, Stellaris had shattered records, becoming the fastest group to claim the top spot on the Billboard 100 chart
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"Okay, I have the spare key, so make sure to lock the doors. We don't want another saesang incident," she said.
"No, it's okay. I'm okay alone," I replied, my voice betraying the loneliness that lurked within me.
"No, I'm okay. Don't worry," I forced a smile, masking the pain that threatened to consume me.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and this time, I let them fall. Why do they hate me? I didn't look at him on purpose. As the other members were going to sleep around this time, I went under my covers and silently wept.
"She's such a sore in my eyes 😒"
"Stellaris's youngest member was found in the group's apartment with blood all over the room, unconscious. The police have stated that it was a s*icide due to her personal matters. Fans are flooding the internet with their deep sorrows and asking for forgiveness. She has been admitted to the National Hospital of Seoul, and we are awaiting an update from the doctors regarding if she survived or not - Soompi
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"Come closer, Areum. Why are you standing all the way over there? You want this promotion, don't you?" he said. "Come sit next to me and sign the contract for the promotional activities."
"Thank you," I replied.
"Aren't you going to eat something?" Yeonjin asked.
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- Soompi
─── ☆ Before anything, I’m sorry 𖦹
“Guys, whatever happens, don't blame yourselves for anything," I told them.
"Areum, you know you want this. You don't want your fans to be disappointed in you, do you? What are you going to do about your debt?" he said.
"Aww, are you blushing? I still remember when you first joined us. You were so small, and now look at you. Our Areum has blossomed into a beautiful and incredibly talented artist," Eunji added, her words warm and comforting.
"The next performers are none other than Stellaris, who have soared to the top like shooting stars," the MC announced.
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"Areum, are you alright?" Eunji asked, her warm hands reaching out to hold mine. "You know about the crowd..."
"Okay, I will," I replied, my voice barely audible. "Goodbye. I love you guys so much," I whispered, as they left the room, their footsteps fading away.
"Take a Panadol. Do you want me to buy you something?" Yeonjin offered.
It was an extraordinary achievement, and as a member of the group, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of happiness and pride. At just 16 years old, I had accomplished more than I could have ever imagined. Fame, adoring fans, a grand stage, and, above all, the love and support of countless people. All the relentless training during our days as trainees had paid off. The sleepless nights, the countless bruises, and even the sacrifices I made to fit the industry's ideal image—all of it seemed worth it. Sure, I still had my trainee debt looming over me, but with this incredible momentum, I was hopeful that I could soon pay it off. I should have been overjoyed, but deep down, I couldn't shake off a lingering sense of unease. Was I truly happy?
The next day, I woke up and got dressed for our recording session at the company. While putting on my shirt, I felt my bones poking out as if I were a skeleton. "It's okay, it's all worth it. This is what your fans want," I reassured myself.
"Thank you, guys. Your support means the world to me," I said, my voice filled with genuine gratitude.
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"Please wake up! We love you!" they were crying.
"That's right. Our Areum is the brightest star," Yeonjin, our leader, chimed in, playfully ruffling my hair. "You've grown so much."
Yet, deep within me, a question lingered, haunting my thoughts: "Will I ever truly find the happiness and acceptance I crave?"
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀― JenJen ✿ ₊ ⊹
While signing the paper, I felt a hand moving down my thighs. "Wait, sir, no—" I tried to protest, but he held me tightly.
"It's just been so long since we hugged," I said as they pulled me into a tight embrace. In that small room, we shared a bittersweet moment, our bodies pressed together, and tears welled up in my eyes. It gave me a reason to keep living for them.
"Yeah," I replied, tearing my eyes away from the screen. I mustered a small smile, hoping she would believe I was fine and leave me be.
"Did she just look at Minjun? This sl*t 🤮🤮🤮. This b*tch better d*e"
HUGE TRIGGER WARNING!!! The following text has mentions of h*te, r*pe, and s*cide and sensitive topics will be talked about so please proceed with caution.
"Stop it, I'm not a little kid anymore," I replied, but a blush crept onto my cheeks.
"Knock, knock, knock,"
"Come in," he said.
"Hmm, yeah. Do you remember the warm bun that you used to buy me without the agency knowing? Can you buy me one of those? I feel like eating something warm," I asked.
"You're not strong, Areum. Let's not pretend anymore," I told myself and closed my eyes, raising the knife over my neck, positioning it over my carotid artery. I took a deep breath and swung the knife—
I entered slowly. "You wanted to see me, sir?" I asked.
"Hmm, okay, but you're still just a kid," she said. But I couldn't hear any more as I entered our room. I loved my members, and they practically raised me.
"I hope she gets r*ped 🤢🤢🤢"
"Don't worry, I'm fine," I reassured her. "I'm Areum, and nothing can get to me," I said with a determined smile, trying my best to sound convincing. I couldn't let my members worry. They were all I had left - the only family I knew,
"I guess it's not too bad dying in your arms," I thought to myself, and now my mind was blank, my eyes blurry, and everything just went dark...
"Wait, really?" I said, my eyes sparkling. This was the first time I had been asked to do any solo activities, but something about the atmosphere didn't feel right.
As I read through the comments, the pain intensified. The fans words stung like venomous arrows, piercing through my body. They hurtful comments echoed in the depths of my mind, increasing the self-doubt that had taken root within me. The weight of those words confirmed the relentless whispers of my darkest thoughts, suffocating any flicker of hope that remained within me.
I reached for my phone, pausing before starting a live stream. Maybe this was my chance to say goodbye, to let my fans know that I loved them, even if I couldn't find love within myself.
I went to the small kitchen that my members and I shared and grabbed a kitchen knife. I wanted a painless death. My life was already painful, so I didn't want more pain in my death. I was too scared of that.
"If you say so," Eunji responded, before heading to the corner to stretch before our upcoming performance.
"Here's the pen," he said.
"You still remember? Okay, we'll buy you one," Yuki one of my other member said.
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I lay down on the torn mattress on the floor. Opening my phone, I went on Twitter to read the comments about the interview we just had. However, my smile quickly faded.
Areum is so f*cking ugly, b*tch looks worser then a pig 🤢🤢
"Goodbye, guys. I need to go sleep now," I said, ending the live with another fake smile.
"I'm going to my room," I said.
"She's so ugly"
"I love you. Can I have a hug?" I asked.
"Do you want one of the members with you at home?" she asked.
"But sir, this is wrong. Let go, someone help—" I tried to scream, but he covered my mouth. I struggled under him, but I couldn't break free from his tight grip.
Wait, were they talking about me? What had I done wrong? My eyes welled up with tears, but I fought hard to hold them back, knowing that I had a performance to deliver.
Unable to bear the torment any longer, a haunting thought crept into my mind. What if I just disappeared? What if the pain could finally be extinguished? The darkness whispered its seductive promises, convincing me that it was the only way out.
“Eww whose that fat girl
⠀⠀⠀꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ And I’m sorry and I’m sorry again ๋࣭ ⭑⚝
I went out of the bathroom, my body trembling from the pain. Slowly, I changed into my pajamas with long sleeves, hoping to hide the bruises he had given me. I didn't want the other members to see, to know what I was going through.
"Areum, you're finally done showering. We're going to the convenience store down the street. Do you want to come with us?" Yeonjin asked, her voice filled with warmth
"I thought it was another member's live. Why is she here? Can she just disappear?"
The mirror reflected my tired eyes and forced smile. Is this the life I had dreamed of? Fame brought me recognition and success, but it also stripped away my sense of self. Behind the glittering stage outfits and flawless choreography, I yearned for the freedom to be truly seen and accepted.
"No, it's okay. I think I have a headache," I replied.
"Ah, yes, I did," he said. "I have exciting news for you. I've lined up some promotional activities that I want you to do, and I need you to sign the contract for those activities."
I just smiled, looking at the comments. It's okay, Areum, you got this. This will be your last live, so don't let your fans see you cry. But the fans aren't entirely wrong. What if I did disappear? Well, the fans know best.
We flawlessly executed our performance, just as we had rehearsed and It was now time for the interview segment. The entire crowd fell silent, captivated by the anticipation. While my members were greeted with thunderous applause, camera flashes, and screams of adoration during their interviews, an eerie stillness befell the atmosphere when it was my turn. I wanted to collapse on the ground and let the tears flow, but I knew I had to maintain my facade of happiness. I needed to be the ever-cheerful, innocent idol. So, I smiled. Jealous? No, I couldn't be. Shouldn't I be happy? After all, my members had poured their hearts into becoming an idol. I had to regain my composure.
Left alone in the suffocating silence, I felt the weight of the world crashing down upon me. The pain, the loneliness, the despair — it was all too much to bear. I crumbled to the floor, tears streaming down my face, my body trembling with sobs that shook my fragile frame.
"Why doesn't she shut her mouth?"
"Aww, what got into you?" Eunji asked. "Of course, we'll give you a hug."